you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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