Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize