we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
