I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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