please come you make the beer taste better
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Randomize
