he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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