So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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