yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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