in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize