I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
