just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
