This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
