..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
