I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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