What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
