I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
