Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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