woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
But theres a keg here and me gusta
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
