I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
