The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize