Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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