How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize