So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
