butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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