Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
