I cannot find my penis.
i would punch a child for taco bell
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
My life is pants optional.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
