plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
i've created a new STD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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