My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Let's paint friendship bongs
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
