I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
