I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
