he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
