i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize