im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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