Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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