she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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