Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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