My nipple is on Facebook.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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