This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize