a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
