Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
