we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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