There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
