Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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