you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
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Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
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Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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