U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
