I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
