Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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