can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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