Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
