I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
