thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
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He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
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Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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