She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
