went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
