my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
