i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize