so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
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That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
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There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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