would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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