you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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