I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
one might say we're banned from that church
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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