So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
