that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
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I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
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I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Everclear isn't food dammit
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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