After last night, I could never be a politician.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize