I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
