please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
