I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
